10 Enriching (and Free) Activities for Seniors and Their Friends
By Gretchen Raab, Director, Neenah Public Library
Life enrichment activities are for everyone. We meet new friends, are exposed to fresh ideas, and pursue our passions. I was recently contacted by Valley VNA to write a guest article about the enrichment programs offered at the library. Valley VNA in-home caregivers who assist seniors in their homes, often take clients on outings in the community. And the Neenah Public Library is a favorite stop.

What can you do (for no charge) at our beautiful library? The opportunities are always expanding. It’s a place for reading books, magazines & newspapers, watching bald eagles or pelicans on the river, working on a puzzle, playing a game of chess, or simply being with others. But did you know you can:

1. Enjoy the talk Sweet Collaborators: The Neenah Galloway Company and Neenah’s Dairy Queen on Thursday, March 16 at 7 p.m. Tim Galloway and Jim Reiser will collaborate on a presentation about how their two businesses have worked together for decades. The Neenah Historical Society is a co-sponsor of this event.
2. Visit the local history room on the second floor and enjoy easy access to the cabinets of well-organized historical photos. You can even find yourself (or your old high school flame) in our Neenah High School yearbooks dating back nearly a century. Browsing from home? Enjoy more than 400 photos of old Neenah in our local history digital collection.
3. Enjoy live music at our First Friday Concerts or Sunday Concert Series. We invite talented musicians from all over the state to share their musical gifts with our patrons. Refreshments included.
4. Learn to play the ukulele! The library has ukuleles you can check out, and we offer a free 8-week beginner class.
5. Access com Library Edition online. This amazing digital resource affords you access to the U.S. Federal Census, military, marriage, and immigration records. There is a learning center for tips on how to best approach the website’s 16 billion records and how to create a timeline for each family member. Use a library computer to log on via the Neenah Public Library web site. (The library edition is only available in-house.) Our librarians on the second floor will be happy to get you started.
6. Enjoy a Monday Matinee or a Tuesday Night Movie. Our movies and program speakers can be heard through a hearing loop that works with many newer hearing aids. Free popcorn and pop.
7. Meet new friends and gather with them regularly in our Monday Morning Book Klatch or knitting club. Find joy in sharing time together centered around a common interest.
8. Migrate to e-books to more easily increase type size and contrast so reading is easier on your eyes. Audio books are also a great option because no one ever tires of hearing a grand story read aloud. At the Neenah Public Library website, you can download both e-books and audio books for your Kindle, IPad, IPod, or home computer. If you need help learning about how to use an e-reader or other digital device, did you know we have monthly Tech Talks at 3 p.m. the second Thursday of each month? Friendly help is always available at the library.
9. Rediscover a language of your past, or learn a new one. Did you grow up with parents or grandparents speaking a language at home other than English? Do you wish you could remember the words to those childhood nursery rhymes in German or Polish? Our online world languages program could be the treasure you seek. You can learn a language at your own pace through videos and lessons. Use your library card to log on to Pronunciator at the Neenah Library website.
10. Participate in monthly Memory Cafés for people experiencing early stage dementia, mild memory loss or cognitive impairment, and for family and friends of those affected. It’s an opportunity for lively discussions, information gathering, refreshments, camaraderie, and lots of creative fun. Upcoming topics include visiting Cuba, fishing, and flower arranging.

Libraries are for lifelong learners. We are a warm, friendly, safe, and sunny place for multiple generations of patrons. Visit us to see all we have to offer.

A Message of Love and Empathy for Caregivers

By Candice Freese, Valley VNA Wellness Coordinator

February is well known in the medical community as Heart Month, a time when people are reminded to think about their cardiovascular health and how to improve it. It seems crazy, right? That we need to be told that our heart is important and needs our attention?

Similarly, our true heart (the caring soulful side of our personhood) needs to be treated gently. Caregivers, whether they tend to toddlers, teens, or elders, have some of the most generous hearts in our families and communities. Some caregivers give direct care through feeding, dressing, and toileting. Some may be in charge of a senior’s finances, medical appointments, and keeping extended family updated. If you could support them and ease their weariness, what would you say? How about this:

Resolve not to be perfect.

Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up or blame yourself when things go less that perfectly. Do you realize how awesome you are to step up to the plate and care for someone who needs you? When you forgive yourself for your missteps it will be easier for you to learn from them.

And remember to be patient with your lack of patience. There will be times when you just lose your cool. Vent to friends or empathetic family members, cry it out in the shower, or go for a walk or a sweaty workout. It feels better when you get the sad out of you.

Another great piece of advice—don’t force it. Step back when you come to a point where you need to use excessive force (physical or emotional) to make something happen. Chances are, it’s just not worth it at that moment. Drop it for the time being and step away. That which makes you a beautifully caring person also makes you vulnerable to feeling overwhelmed. It’s all part of the package.

Refill your well.

A dry well quenches no thirst. Have you ever joked with your spouse that the office (or mill or school or clinic) will run for a day or two without him or her? It’s true. Take time to make yourself a priority, if even for an appointment at the nail salon or a long leisurely trip around Target. You simply need and deserve to get away and recharge, stretch your muscles, and enjoy the wider world. It will help you and the people who depend on you. Really—go ahead and choose the hot pink. Shake things up a bit and laugh while you do it.

Don’t block the love train.

It can be selfish to try and do everything yourself. So many people would be tickled to help with a ride to an appointment, a hot meal, or a night of sitting with your loved one while you go out to dinner. They just need to be asked. It’s the most glorious way to spread love in your circle of friends. Move that train on down the tracks and ask for help.

 Make a plan for the future.

There may come a time when you’re no longer able to provide care. It makes a lot of sense to plan ahead and ask about getting assistance with in-home care or an alternative residential care setting. You’ll feel like a worry has been lifted and your loved one will not be left in the lurch when circumstances change.

Are you discombobulated by changes in your loved one’s ability to care for himself? Are you looking for help to make 2017 as happy and healthy as possible? The people of Valley VNA are experts in helping identify services in the community that will help all of us age well with dignity and purpose. Call (920) 727-5555 and we’ll connect you with a helpful, knowledgeable person to help address your concerns.

How to Find Family Consensus on Behalf of an Aging Loved One

By Rev. John McFadden, Valley VNA Chaplain

During a continuing education event for primary care physicians, those attending were asked to identify the single greatest challenge they faced in providing care for their patients living with dementia.  The response was nearly unanimous: “Families that are not all on the same page.”

Families in Disagreement

Families in disagreement can be an issue in many situations related to health care, but this is particularly true when some form of dementia is a part of the aging journey.  The sister who lives with or near mom is exhausted by the ongoing challenges of caregiving, but when her out-of-state siblings come to visit, mom summons the inner resources to put her best face forward, and they wonder what their sister finds so upsetting and demanding.  Sometimes the opposite is true.  The son who interacts with dad on a regular basis fails to note the small changes taking place over time, but when his sister comes for her first visit in six months, she is shocked and dismayed by the changes she sees in her father.  “How could you not have noticed?”

Even when siblings live relatively near one another and are largely in agreement about matters of importance, making decisions about an aging parent’s care needs, possible transition to residential care, and end-of-life issues is far from easy.  Some of the most common obstacles to making wise decisions include:

• “Mom made us promise we would never put her in a home.” This promise may have been exacted many years ago, when a fiercely independent woman saw older friends withering in a facility that offered little beyond essential medical care.  Quite likely, she could picture herself becoming physically frail at a later point in her life, but her imagination did not extend to the possibility of cognitive frailty that made navigating everyday life—cooking, cleaning, personal hygiene—no longer possible.  But still, “We promised her…” can have a powerful hold, feeding guilt and breeding dissension among siblings.
• “If it were me, I would not want to remain on a respirator, but dad never made his wishes clear.” Very specific advanced directives are one of the most wonderful gifts we can give to our family members. In their absence, many struggle with the sense that they are projecting their own values and desires onto a parent or grandparent nearing the end of life.

Get Help to Make Important Decisions

We may feel bound by our promises or paralyzed by the lack of clear directives, yet decisions need to be made.  A family that is caught up in disagreement or conflict about a parent’s care decisions will often remain trapped in that state until they turn to someone who can help them navigate a path through it. When it is possible, turning to a moral and spiritual adviser—a priest, pastor, or rabbi—can be tremendously helpful.  He or she will have waded in these waters before, and hopefully can bring both wisdom and compassion to the family by helping them to come to a consensus all know to be the right one. If there is a trusted family physician, he or she can also be an invaluable source of guidance, particular if that physician has provided care for the parent or grandparent over time.

If the older family member is living in a residential community, the commun ity itself will have helpful resources to offer: a chaplain, social worker, or care team.  They will be persons who know and love your parent and wish for your parent to have the best possible quality of life, a life that includes meaning and joy even in the face of losses.  As with a spiritual advisor, they will have walked this path with other families.

Ask Yourselves, “What Would Love Do?”

A wise geriatrician who has led many family conferences about care decision in the course of her career shared, “My goal, in the end, is to bring the family to the question that matters most: What would love do?”  Promises made in very different circumstances, the absence of clear directives—all of these, in the end, must give way to the existential question of what our deep love for our parent or grandparent requires us to do.

We may never reach the point of 100 percent certainty, and nagging doubts may still nibble at us.   But often the difficult decision made in love yields wonderful outcomes.  The mother who never wanted to go into “a home” thrives in new ways as she experiences greater social engagement and stimulation, receiving care from staff who value her.  The father who never made end-of-life choices clear is removed from the life support that had offered only discomfort, not quality of life, and we see his peace and comfort as he prepares to cross into the great mystery beyond this life.  Love, in the end, should always have the final word.

To learn more about our chaplaincy at Valley VNA, or to inquire about in-home care or assisted living for people experiencing Alzheimer’s Disease or dementia, please call (920) 727-5555. We offer a wide range of services and support for both seniors in need of care and their caregivers.

By Pat Hoogervorst, R.N., Clinical Services Director, Valley VNA Senior Services 

Six out of every 10 falls happen at home, where we tend to move around without consciously thinking about our safety. Sore muscles, broken bones, and painful bruises can be avoided by following these tips from the National Institute of Health:

• Remove anything that could cause you to trip or slip while walking. Tripping on clutter, small furniture, pet bowls, and electrical or phone cords can cause you to fall.
• Arrange furniture to give you plenty of room to walk freely. Also remove items from stairs, hallways, and pathways.
• Be sure that carpets are secured to the floor and stairs. Remove throw rugs, use non-slip rugs, or attach rugs to the floor with double-sided tape.
• Put non-slip strips on floor, steps, and in your shower or bathtub. Put non-slip strips or a rubber mat on the floor of your bathtub or shower, too.
• At home and elsewhere, avoid wet floors and clean up spills right away. If you have waxed floors, use only non-skid wax.
• Poor lighting – inside and outdoors – can increase your risk of falls. Make sure you have enough lighting in each room, at entrances, and on outdoor walkways. Use light bulbs that have the highest wattage recommended for the fixture.
• Good lighting on stairways is especially important. Light switches at both the top and bottom of stairs can help.
• Place a lamp within easy reach of your bed. Put night lights in the bathroom, hallways, bedroom, and kitchen. Also keep a flashlight by your bed in case the power is out and you need to get up.
• Have handrails installed on both sides of stairs and walkways. If you must carry something while walking up or down stairs, hold the item in one hand and use the handrail with the other. When you’re carrying something, be sure you can see where you are stepping.
• Properly placed grab bars in your tub and shower, and next to the toilet, can help you avoid falls, too. Have grab bars securely installed by a handyman, and use them every time you get in and out of the tub or shower.
• You might find it helpful to rearrange often-used items in your home to make them more accessible. Store food boxes, cans, dishes, clothing, and other everyday items within easy reach. Prevent a fall that might come from standing on a stool or chair to reach something.
• Be careful when walking outdoors, and avoid going out alone on ice or snow. A simple slip on a slick sidewalk, a curb, or icy stairs could result in a serious injury.
• During the winter, ask someone to spread sand or salt on icy surfaces. Be sure to wear boots with good traction if you must go out when it snows.

Registered nurses from Valley VNA will visit your home at no charge to assess and suggest solutions to home safety concerns. These personal visits, called Options & Solutions, will also give you a chance to learn more about the different levels of care offered through Valley VNA, including home care, Meals on Wheels, assisted living, and independent living apartments. Simply call (920) 727-5555 to request a no-obligation home visit. We’d love to meet you!

Tips for Keeping Seniors Safe

By Colleen Harvot, Valley VNA Director of In-Home Care

As a neighbor to an elder, you’ve probably noticed that older people tend to have regular routines. Does the elderly gentleman next door always pick up his newspaper from the front stoop by 8 a.m.? Why is it still outside at noon? If lights-out is usually at 9 p.m., why are the lights still on at 11 p.m.? Could someone be sick or hurt? If your dog is uncharacteristically barking, has someone fallen out in the yard? (I cannot tell you how many stories I’ve heard about dogs helping raise the alarm.) When something seems a little off, it may be time to take a careful look outside, call over to the house, knock on the door, or call the non-emergency police number for something called a wellness check. Remember to have this important information on hand in case you need to help:

1. Write down your neighbor’s full name, phone number, and house number. If you call the house to check on your neighbor and everything is fine, just say hello.
2. Get a phone number for your neighbor’s closest friend or family member. This can be as easy as introducing yourself as she gets out of the car on a regular visit and saying, “If I’m ever concerned about your mom (or dad or aunt), it would be nice to have your number.” Offer your name and number, too.

Now that you’ve made the connection, consider an occasional short visit to help break up the cold winter days. Here are some tips and ideas to help make a warm connection:

• Keep your visit short (10-20 minutes), especially if it is a simple drop-in.
• If your neighbor appreciates pets (find out ahead of time!), consider bringing your well-behaved dog or cat.
• Have young children color a picture and bring it along.
• Offer to bring (printed or audio) books from the library and return those that are due. Discuss the books you’ve recently read.
• Bring a blooming bulb. The small potted plants cost just about $4 and both the color and scent are invigorating long after your visit is over.
• Share a piece of pie, cup of soup, a small bowl of fresh fruit salad, or a slice of lasagna. No need to make a special dish, simply share what you are having today. Everything tastes better when someone else made it for you, right?
• If your mailboxes are out on the street, offer to tuck the mail in your neighbor’s door during the winter months to save him from traipsing out in the cold and ice.
• Share news you’ve heard about prescription bubble packaging, Meals on Wheels, foot care clinics, and live music You never know if one of these services is just what your neighbor needs.

Our community relies on the caring and compassion of good people like you to keep our neighbors safe. Valley VNA is active in the community to ensure seniors can stay in their homes and live safe and fulfilling lives. To learn more about In-Home Care, call us at Valley VNA at 727-5555.

10 Ideas to Help Seniors with Seasonal Depression

By Colleen Harvot, Valley VNA Director of In-Home Care

The winter blues can strike a person of any age, but there are four reasons seniors are a bit more susceptible to feeling depressed during the long, cold winter:

• Worries over heating bills, timely snow removal, or other logistical challenges that may become bigger issues if a person is left alone to fret about them;
• Poor nutrition that can contribute to feelings of lethargy and disinterest;
• Lack of sunlight, which not only affects one’s energy level, but also contributes to a vitamin D deficiency, a vital nutrient that helps boost mental health and prevent osteoporosis;
• Anxiety over leaving home because of fear of falling on the ice, poor driving conditions, or extremely chilly temperatures;

We all know that feeling of slipping into a funk, battling the blues, or feeling alone in our anxiety Hopefully we can also remember what puts the spring back in our step (that is, beside springtime!).  Here are some suggestions for you and your loved one that will help you find more contentment this winter:

Find assistance:  Wisconsin utilities have programs to assist homeowners with their utility expenses according to income and other guidelines. To ease anxiety over high heating bills, check to see if your loved one is eligible for financial assistance.

Meals: Whether its meals delivered to your door via Meals on Wheels  or breakfast at the local senior center or dining room, eating together is uplifting for two reasons: good food and good company.

Bring Books: Consider a personal bookmobile service where you visit every couple of weeks to switch out reading and listening materials from the public library. Your visits will have built in-conversation topics—What have you read? What would you like to try next?

Consult a Doctor: Antidepressants may be just what the doctor ordered to help lift the gloom. Another remedy may be light therapy, which involves an affected person sitting next to a specialized light box for a certain amount of time each day. The light box mimics sunlight and helps improve mood and sleep cycles. Don’t forget to ask about vitamin D levels and supplements, if needed.

Move More: Exercise and social activities for older adults at places like the YMCA boost endorphins, the body’s feel-good hormones. Let’s face it, the whole world looks better after water aerobics and a hot shower.

Savor the Sound of Music:  Specialized groups for people with dementia or Alzheimer’s like Lyrics & Laughter at Valley VNA, help seniors connect memories with music. If you’re more of a concert person, see live music at the Neenah Public Library on Friday afternoons—for free!

Pamper Yourself: Foot care clinics at Valley VNA include a foot soak, nail trim, and always a little lively banter. Check the schedule and call for an appointment. Did we mention that there are usually cookies, too?

Offer a Ride: Seniors who can count on a weekly salon appointment and/or church attendance have a bright spot at the end of their week. If you can offer a safe ride, eliminating worries about slipping on snow and ice, you’ll be an added blessing.

Write a Letter: No one ever tires of receiving a letter in the old fashioned USPS. Write about fond memories, what the kids are doing these days, recent outings you’ve enjoyed, and how work is going for you. Print photos from your computer and add them to your envelope. (No need to worry about special photo paper.) You don’t have to live far away to send a note. Write on!

Buy a Bird Feeder: Any time spent observing nature reminds us that we are not alone on this journey. So many creatures are busy and purposeful.  Choose a feeder and seeds to attract colorful birds near the window and glory in the beauty in your own backyard.

There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned visit to lift the spirits of an elderly person—and our staff! We hope you’ll visit soon and come back often. To learn more about our varied life enrichment programs at Valley VNA, or to volunteer to share your talents in the life enrichment department, please call (920) 727-5555.